I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
