Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize