so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
