Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
