It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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