Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
