1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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