His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I enjoy the company of your penis
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
