We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
