woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize