margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
