I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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