the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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