why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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