You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
