i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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