Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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