I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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