So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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