Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
