omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
