I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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