I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i will never coherently bang her
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
