I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize