Can i not drive my cunt home
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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