Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
