i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
