Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
