Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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