Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
