smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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