the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
