So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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