I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
