I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
