Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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