It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
