mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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