my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
