It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
