I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize