I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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