Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
