just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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