Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
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Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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