My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
