college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
