So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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