It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Everything about him screamed your future.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
