vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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