We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i think my cat just said my name.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
