Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
