it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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