Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
