you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
