you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
