hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
