We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
