I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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