Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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