; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
