I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
