It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
