Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
