Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
